I'm writing this *****,
Without hope or agenda,
Knowing fully well,
It's no relationship mender,
Just to remind you,
There are people who care,
They care about you,
And your welfare.
That sounds like a line,
From a social worker's mouth,
Those up here,
And those in the south.
They put us in meetings,
With conclusions to make,
Most used word : Optimistic,
But our smiles are fake.
Of course you still don't believe,
That we are at all bothered,
About where you are now,
And by who you're being slobbered.
Those who pay attention,
Will already know,
The answer to the latter,
Has become our foe.
He knows what you want,
Or so you think,
Little do you know,
His brain is on the blink.
You know damn well,
That the accusations made,
Are ludicrous lies,
And the blame is ricocheted.
The sweet young girl,
That we know and love,
Would never do this,
She would give him a shove.
You had a great education,
Better than most,
And handfuls of friends,
But you weren't one to boast.
Monday, 7 January 2008
Saturday, 5 January 2008
Birthday greetings
In the run up to my daughter's 16th birthday her schoolfriends made a photo/scrap book with messages and photos,they gave it to me for safekeeping.
I haven't been able to pass this on to my daughter yet and am not sure if I ever will,so I'm going to post a few extracts here,in the hope that one day she will see them.
The book is full of photos,some of which we had never seen,natural,happy shots taken with mobile phones.These pics mean so much to me,the natural image of my happy daughter,before her life was torn appart .
__________________________________________________________________
To *****
Remember the good times?
French,icing,friends,hangouts and Mk trips?
We miss you
We love you
Happy 16th Birthday!=D
Love T
__________________________________________________________________
Happy 16th
Just wish we were there to share this birthday with you:)
-just knowing you are safe would make us happy
Meet up again someday?
That'd be great
Hope to see you safe and well,
E x
__________________________________________________________________
To *****
Happy 16th Birthday !:)
I hope you have a great day bbe and I'll be thinking of you:)
It would be great if you could get in contact with one of us just so we know you're safe and as happy as you deserve to be
I love you so much *****
never forget that
Lots of love L xxxxx
__________________________________________________________________
*****
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
I hope you have a wonderful day,wherever you are.
We still miss you loads,and it would put our hearts at ease if we could know you are OK,
but as long as you are happy it doesn't matter:)
You're missed loads,so I hope we get a chance to gather up in a big group and chat some day,
Love C xxxx
__________________________________________________________________
Dear *****
Love you so much and I miss you loads.I hope you come back so we can celebrate your birthday together with trampoline fun and going crazy in the shed!
We had so much fun that day-I'll never forget it.
I think about you all the time and I can't wait to see you again,
Lots & lots of love
K
__________________________________________________________________
Dear *****
I miss you more than anything and I know that when you get back you"ll look through this album and remember the good times.
I love you so much,
counting the days until you come home
xxx A xxx
__________________________________________________________________
Hi *****:)
I'm sitting here in your garden a few days before your birthday and it doesn't feel right.
I wish you were here babes=C
Happy 16th birthday!
I love you so much and I really hope you'll be back as soon as you can.
We all miss you so much =C
Love T xxx
__________________________________________________________________
Grief and worry eats into my soul.
wish you were here,I couldn't wish more x x x
Happy 16th birthday *****
I miss you :(
Remember last year? lol
Bing back the good times
__________________________________________________________________
We all miss you so much *****
Geography isn't the same when you are not next to me.
I hope you are safe and well,I really hope you are happy too
Love you so much
S x x x
__________________________________________________________________
Hey *****
I guess I didn't know you that well and I wish I'd gotten to know you better.
I didn't have any lessons with you and I wasn't in your form,but I know the
impact you made on us all when you left,
Wherever you are,I hope you are safe,
J x x x
__________________________________________________________________
To *****
I hope that you have a great 16th birthday wherever you are,and that you are safe.
I'll be thinking of you all day.
This photo album is so nice,it will remind you of all the great times we've had together,and hopefully when you come backwe'll be able to have some more.
I always took for granted that you'd be at school,but now that you're not I realise just how much of a friend you are to me
Hope to see you soon
H x x x x
__________________________________________________________________
You see,whatever he has told you,your friends and family still love you babes
I haven't been able to pass this on to my daughter yet and am not sure if I ever will,so I'm going to post a few extracts here,in the hope that one day she will see them.
The book is full of photos,some of which we had never seen,natural,happy shots taken with mobile phones.These pics mean so much to me,the natural image of my happy daughter,before her life was torn appart .
__________________________________________________________________
To *****
Remember the good times?
French,icing,friends,hangouts and Mk trips?
We miss you
We love you
Happy 16th Birthday!=D
Love T
__________________________________________________________________
Happy 16th
Just wish we were there to share this birthday with you:)
-just knowing you are safe would make us happy
Meet up again someday?
That'd be great
Hope to see you safe and well,
E x
__________________________________________________________________
To *****
Happy 16th Birthday !:)
I hope you have a great day bbe and I'll be thinking of you:)
It would be great if you could get in contact with one of us just so we know you're safe and as happy as you deserve to be
I love you so much *****
never forget that
Lots of love L xxxxx
__________________________________________________________________
*****
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
I hope you have a wonderful day,wherever you are.
We still miss you loads,and it would put our hearts at ease if we could know you are OK,
but as long as you are happy it doesn't matter:)
You're missed loads,so I hope we get a chance to gather up in a big group and chat some day,
Love C xxxx
__________________________________________________________________
Dear *****
Love you so much and I miss you loads.I hope you come back so we can celebrate your birthday together with trampoline fun and going crazy in the shed!
We had so much fun that day-I'll never forget it.
I think about you all the time and I can't wait to see you again,
Lots & lots of love
K
__________________________________________________________________
Dear *****
I miss you more than anything and I know that when you get back you"ll look through this album and remember the good times.
I love you so much,
counting the days until you come home
xxx A xxx
__________________________________________________________________
Hi *****:)
I'm sitting here in your garden a few days before your birthday and it doesn't feel right.
I wish you were here babes=C
Happy 16th birthday!
I love you so much and I really hope you'll be back as soon as you can.
We all miss you so much =C
Love T xxx
__________________________________________________________________
Grief and worry eats into my soul.
wish you were here,I couldn't wish more x x x
Happy 16th birthday *****
I miss you :(
Remember last year? lol
Bing back the good times
__________________________________________________________________
We all miss you so much *****
Geography isn't the same when you are not next to me.
I hope you are safe and well,I really hope you are happy too
Love you so much
S x x x
__________________________________________________________________
Hey *****
I guess I didn't know you that well and I wish I'd gotten to know you better.
I didn't have any lessons with you and I wasn't in your form,but I know the
impact you made on us all when you left,
Wherever you are,I hope you are safe,
J x x x
__________________________________________________________________
To *****
I hope that you have a great 16th birthday wherever you are,and that you are safe.
I'll be thinking of you all day.
This photo album is so nice,it will remind you of all the great times we've had together,and hopefully when you come backwe'll be able to have some more.
I always took for granted that you'd be at school,but now that you're not I realise just how much of a friend you are to me
Hope to see you soon
H x x x x
__________________________________________________________________
You see,whatever he has told you,your friends and family still love you babes
Friday, 4 January 2008
My husbands story
2007
2007 started as usual with the annual new year party, all was well, we all had a good time, not knowing that this would be a very rare happy moment in the year.
Our daughters mood was to change very quickly, she was in contact with a man on the internet, who seemed to have control over her, who could get her to do things when he asked, say things that she would never have said before, to become the complete opposite of the kind & caring daughter she had been before.
She no longer listened to what we said, only to this man, & became distant from her school friends, who had been threatened by the same man, as was to become apparent when the police came to visit in early February, the first of many visits to come. On the same day she dissappeared from home for the 1st time, & we started the all to regular process of reporting her missing.
Over the next 12 weeks we would report her missing another 5 times, & spend hours talking with police & social services discussing what to do next & how to go forward.
When she finally dissapeared in early April having made allegations at the request of this man, our 6 month nationwide appeal for information on her whereabouts was about to begin.
The police were fantastic, going out of their way to help us, & try to locate our daughter. Six months passed with no news, no confirmed sightings. We raised over €6000 for Missing People, with the aid of her school friends, who just wanted her home where she should be. She made countless radio appeals, did live tv & gave interviews to the national press.
We have been to places, & seen & done things that I never thought we would have to do.
During this time a man was arrested & charged with sexual grooming, but the crown prosecution service kept knocking the police back, saying that there was a lack of evidence.
I still don"t know how much more evidence they need. We all thought we had enough, including the police.
At the begining of october she contacted the police, but as she was now 16, they were powerless to do anything, & she now lives with the man she met on the internet.
We have since had to endure abusive messages on the internet, with little idea of how to stop it legally.
Throughout all of this we have had to relly heavily on friends & family for support, without whom we not have managed to carry on. Also our 14 yr old son has had to grow up very fast, his life has changed so much, a large part of it has been ripped away, he hasn't just lost a sister, he's lost his best friend.
I don't uderstand how my daughter can say & do the things that she has done. She has watched & heard us make the appeals & said nothing, just left us wondering if she is still alive.
I thought that we had raised her to be better than that, perhaps not. I just hope she thinks it is all worth it.
A year that shows I have failed to protect not only my daughter from un-desirable people, but also my wife & son from all of the hurt & up-heaval that they have had to go through.
Someone said one day that it must be tempting to go down the motorway & sort the problem myself, & perhaps I should, but I know I can't do perhaps I fail there to. These are things that I will have to live with this feeling of complete failure, but I try not to dwell on it to much because it all reduces me to tears.
2007 started as usual with the annual new year party, all was well, we all had a good time, not knowing that this would be a very rare happy moment in the year.
Our daughters mood was to change very quickly, she was in contact with a man on the internet, who seemed to have control over her, who could get her to do things when he asked, say things that she would never have said before, to become the complete opposite of the kind & caring daughter she had been before.
She no longer listened to what we said, only to this man, & became distant from her school friends, who had been threatened by the same man, as was to become apparent when the police came to visit in early February, the first of many visits to come. On the same day she dissappeared from home for the 1st time, & we started the all to regular process of reporting her missing.
Over the next 12 weeks we would report her missing another 5 times, & spend hours talking with police & social services discussing what to do next & how to go forward.
When she finally dissapeared in early April having made allegations at the request of this man, our 6 month nationwide appeal for information on her whereabouts was about to begin.
The police were fantastic, going out of their way to help us, & try to locate our daughter. Six months passed with no news, no confirmed sightings. We raised over €6000 for Missing People, with the aid of her school friends, who just wanted her home where she should be. She made countless radio appeals, did live tv & gave interviews to the national press.
We have been to places, & seen & done things that I never thought we would have to do.
During this time a man was arrested & charged with sexual grooming, but the crown prosecution service kept knocking the police back, saying that there was a lack of evidence.
I still don"t know how much more evidence they need. We all thought we had enough, including the police.
At the begining of october she contacted the police, but as she was now 16, they were powerless to do anything, & she now lives with the man she met on the internet.
We have since had to endure abusive messages on the internet, with little idea of how to stop it legally.
Throughout all of this we have had to relly heavily on friends & family for support, without whom we not have managed to carry on. Also our 14 yr old son has had to grow up very fast, his life has changed so much, a large part of it has been ripped away, he hasn't just lost a sister, he's lost his best friend.
I don't uderstand how my daughter can say & do the things that she has done. She has watched & heard us make the appeals & said nothing, just left us wondering if she is still alive.
I thought that we had raised her to be better than that, perhaps not. I just hope she thinks it is all worth it.
A year that shows I have failed to protect not only my daughter from un-desirable people, but also my wife & son from all of the hurt & up-heaval that they have had to go through.
Someone said one day that it must be tempting to go down the motorway & sort the problem myself, & perhaps I should, but I know I can't do perhaps I fail there to. These are things that I will have to live with this feeling of complete failure, but I try not to dwell on it to much because it all reduces me to tears.
The wasps
When families have problems there are a group of people who get involved,these people in my opinion have no use in society,they are now referred to in our family as the wasps.
My God this year has been a real eye opener,In my naive mind I really thought that the wasps would be there to help us in our hour of need,how wrong could I have possibly been?
I must admit that I have not had many dealings with them before and some people may think I'm tarring them with the same brush,so for those good ones out there I'm sorry but this is written from my experience.
My experience has been BAD in fact VERY BAD
Back in early Feb we alerted the wasps to the fact that our daughter was being groomed by an older man,we were told,
You are the parents...deal with it! It's your duty of care!
When they agreed that she had been sexually exploited,they said,
Supply her with condoms,it's your duty as parents!
When they came to assess our family situation it took 7 weeks for them to send out the report to us,by which time it was all completely irrelevant.
When they agreed that the relationship with her **** was totally wrong they said,
Invite him round for a meal,get to know him!
When she had been missing for months she said,
Leave her on the streets age 15 and you are responsible for what happens,but,
let the police keep looking for her and she will commit suicide!
When they admitted she wasn't safe with him they said,
Sign her custody over to him!
At strategy meetings to discuss OUR DAUGHTER and her safety they said,
Poor ****,he must be under so much mental strain!
WELL JUST FOR A MINUTE THINK ABOUT US,DON'T YOU THINK WE ARE UNDER B****Y STRAIN?
OH NO I FORGOT WE ARE JUST THE PARENTS,IT DOESN'T MATTER ABOUT US DOES IT!
Well thanks a lot guys,you have been no help what so ever.In fact I don't know why you get paid so much money,what exactly do you do?
My God this year has been a real eye opener,In my naive mind I really thought that the wasps would be there to help us in our hour of need,how wrong could I have possibly been?
I must admit that I have not had many dealings with them before and some people may think I'm tarring them with the same brush,so for those good ones out there I'm sorry but this is written from my experience.
My experience has been BAD in fact VERY BAD
Back in early Feb we alerted the wasps to the fact that our daughter was being groomed by an older man,we were told,
You are the parents...deal with it! It's your duty of care!
When they agreed that she had been sexually exploited,they said,
Supply her with condoms,it's your duty as parents!
When they came to assess our family situation it took 7 weeks for them to send out the report to us,by which time it was all completely irrelevant.
When they agreed that the relationship with her **** was totally wrong they said,
Invite him round for a meal,get to know him!
When she had been missing for months she said,
Leave her on the streets age 15 and you are responsible for what happens,but,
let the police keep looking for her and she will commit suicide!
When they admitted she wasn't safe with him they said,
Sign her custody over to him!
At strategy meetings to discuss OUR DAUGHTER and her safety they said,
Poor ****,he must be under so much mental strain!
WELL JUST FOR A MINUTE THINK ABOUT US,DON'T YOU THINK WE ARE UNDER B****Y STRAIN?
OH NO I FORGOT WE ARE JUST THE PARENTS,IT DOESN'T MATTER ABOUT US DOES IT!
Well thanks a lot guys,you have been no help what so ever.In fact I don't know why you get paid so much money,what exactly do you do?
Missing You
What I miss
Girl 2 girl chats
Frilly girlie bits in the laundry
Your love and compassion
You tuting on the flute
Your smile
Sharing pringles & dip while watching Eastenders
The way you could never see the bad in anyone
Your love of animals
The way you used to write me notes
In fact this list is stupid,
The truth is I miss every single thing about you
I love you so much there are days when I don't feel I can go on without you,
People tell me to forget about you and move on,
I will never be able to do that,no mum can forget 16 years of love
Baby I love you so much,please come home
Girl 2 girl chats
Frilly girlie bits in the laundry
Your love and compassion
You tuting on the flute
Your smile
Sharing pringles & dip while watching Eastenders
The way you could never see the bad in anyone
Your love of animals
The way you used to write me notes
In fact this list is stupid,
The truth is I miss every single thing about you
I love you so much there are days when I don't feel I can go on without you,
People tell me to forget about you and move on,
I will never be able to do that,no mum can forget 16 years of love
Baby I love you so much,please come home
Tuesday, 1 January 2008
Letters from my daughter's best friend
Letter 1
..............
22nd September 2007
To *****,
Happy 16th!! It seems hard to believe that another year has passed already, and I can look back at all the great times that we’ve had together, yet also think about all the things that we haven’t done together, and things that I wish I’d said to you. I wish that I had told you that I didn’t think it was good idea for you to go and meet *****. I sometimes wonder if you would still be here today celebrating your birthday and having a great time if I had done so. More than anything I would have liked to have given you your present, brought in a cake, and also a balloon for you and let the whole class sing happy birthday to you. This is certainly different to how I wanted you to be able to celebrate your 16th. I miss you so much. Not a day goes by when I don’t think about you, wonder if you’re ok. I hope that one day you’ll be able to read this letter and realise how much I care for you. You’re one of my best friends and I don’t know what I’d do without you. I haven’t really been able to cope. **** and ***** have been breaking down in tears, but I know that no-one can care for you like I do. Everyone thinks I’m coping fine, but I’m not. I just want to curl up in a corner and wait for you to come home. I hope every day that your mum will phone saying that you’ve been found. Even after all this time I can’t believe that you’ve gone, despite all of the coverage on the news and your absence at school. I want to come and visit you after school as though your ill, but deep down I know your not and that I can’t see you. I just want to hear your voice.
Goodnight for now,
******
xxxxxx
........................................................................................................................................................................
Letter 2
..............
23rd September 2007
To *****,
I wasn’t expecting to write you another letter so soon, but I’ve just found out about some things that ***** has been saying and it’s made me so angry. I want you to see how much he lies, and how he can’t possibly be all that you think he is because of this. You’ve gone missing because of him. He’s torn you away from your friends and family, and no matter what he says, we all care deeply for you otherwise we wouldn’t be advertising your disappearance, appealing for information on your whereabouts. Your mum and dad are also deeply worried about you. You might think that they’re putting on an act, but I can tell that it’s all real. I don’t think that you’ll even have seen the press coverage that you’ve had because of them. I just hope that when you come back you’ll realise how much you’ve been missed and that everyone will be able to move past this and just be glad that you’re back. Don’t forget how much we all care about you.
******
xxxxxx
........................................................................................................................................................................
Letter 3
..............
30th September 2007
To *****,
I wonder how you are today. Recently I’ve been dreaming about you a lot. Most of the time I walk into our form room and you’re just sitting there, like you were never even gone. It’s really strange, because everyone else in our class is sitting there as well like nothing happened, and I think was it all a dream. But then I wake up and realise that what I just saw was a dream and that in reality you’re still missing. I dream about you when I’ve been thinking about you during the day, which at the moment is quite often. I wonder if you’ll come back for Christmas or if I’ll have heard from you before then. I’d like to think so but inside the hope is dying away. Yesterday was the autumn fair and there was a stall for missing persons, and there was a huge poster of you. Almost anywhere that I looked people were wearing yellow ribbons and showing their support. I know that it must have meant a lot to your parents. Also on Friday its non-uniform jeans 4 genes day (not sure which way round it goes lol), and half the money raised is going to go to missing persons charity. Everyone cares about you so much and just wants you home.
Thinking of you
******
xxxxxx
.........................................................................................................................................................................
Letter 4
..............
1st January 2008
To *****,
Well it is now 2008. Happy New Year! I hope that you’re safe and that you had a good Christmas. I know that you have made contact but there is little comfort in knowing that you are living in Bristol with *****. That doesn’t qualify that you are safe in my mind.
It seems strange to think that this time last year we had been meeting up and showing each other what we got for Christmas. I remember you showing me a purple magnet necklace that you got from your parents amongst other gifts. You were so happy, although you and ***** started to "date" on Boxing Day of last year. I remember you talking to me about *****, saying how you thought he was in love with you. Then you got messages from him saying that this was how he felt and that he just wanted to be with you. I don’t think you actually wanted to date him, I think you just didn’t want to say no and make him depressed again and make his illness worse. You told me that you said yes on Boxing Day when you were drunk and that you were really regretting it. A couple of days later you were asking me for advice on how to tell him that you didn’t want to go out with him. He had immediately started sending you his declarations of love and it really freaked you out. So why did you agree to go and meet him? Deep inside you knew it wasn’t right to go and meet him alone. At one point you even asked me to go with you. Me and **** talked together about the situation and agreed to tell you that we didn’t want you to go and meet him, but you were annoyed because we had gone to the cinema without you. We explained that we had both tried to contact you the night before to find out if you coming but neither of us could get through to you. I think that must have been the first time that ***** threatened to commit suicide. That was the first time that Kate and I noticed a change in you. You weren’t the same from that point on, and I miss the old you so much. Our first and apparently last sleepover was spent mostly with you on the phone to *****.
Yesterday I was sat with my family and neighbours celebrating New Year. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I was wondering what you were doing at that point. I fear that you’ve gotten involved with drugs or that you’re pregnant or something. In that way I dread hearing from your mum. I hope that this year you will see how this experience has set you back. You have left school without any qualifications and for what? The love of your life? The love of your life wouldn’t have done this to you or your family. I hope that one day I will see you again, but every day I doubt that more and more. The last time that I saw you it seemed as though you were breaking free from *****’s grasp. He told you to make me leave. He gave us half an hour. But you wouldn’t let me leave until I was ready, even when he phoned to find out if I had gone. I hoped that that would be the point where you saw what he was really like and that everyone would get through this, but then you left again. You were missing for 6 months. The first time that I spoke to you after you had made contact it sounded like you would soon be coming home. You told me that you had seen the press appeals asking for any information on your whereabouts. Yet you still remained hidden. I don’t know what to think anymore. I just hope that one day you’ll see sense and realise what a huge mistake you’ve made. I can only hope that this will happen, and if it does, all of your family and friends will still be standing by you. That is how much we care.
******
xxxxxx
..............
22nd September 2007
To *****,
Happy 16th!! It seems hard to believe that another year has passed already, and I can look back at all the great times that we’ve had together, yet also think about all the things that we haven’t done together, and things that I wish I’d said to you. I wish that I had told you that I didn’t think it was good idea for you to go and meet *****. I sometimes wonder if you would still be here today celebrating your birthday and having a great time if I had done so. More than anything I would have liked to have given you your present, brought in a cake, and also a balloon for you and let the whole class sing happy birthday to you. This is certainly different to how I wanted you to be able to celebrate your 16th. I miss you so much. Not a day goes by when I don’t think about you, wonder if you’re ok. I hope that one day you’ll be able to read this letter and realise how much I care for you. You’re one of my best friends and I don’t know what I’d do without you. I haven’t really been able to cope. **** and ***** have been breaking down in tears, but I know that no-one can care for you like I do. Everyone thinks I’m coping fine, but I’m not. I just want to curl up in a corner and wait for you to come home. I hope every day that your mum will phone saying that you’ve been found. Even after all this time I can’t believe that you’ve gone, despite all of the coverage on the news and your absence at school. I want to come and visit you after school as though your ill, but deep down I know your not and that I can’t see you. I just want to hear your voice.
Goodnight for now,
******
xxxxxx
........................................................................................................................................................................
Letter 2
..............
23rd September 2007
To *****,
I wasn’t expecting to write you another letter so soon, but I’ve just found out about some things that ***** has been saying and it’s made me so angry. I want you to see how much he lies, and how he can’t possibly be all that you think he is because of this. You’ve gone missing because of him. He’s torn you away from your friends and family, and no matter what he says, we all care deeply for you otherwise we wouldn’t be advertising your disappearance, appealing for information on your whereabouts. Your mum and dad are also deeply worried about you. You might think that they’re putting on an act, but I can tell that it’s all real. I don’t think that you’ll even have seen the press coverage that you’ve had because of them. I just hope that when you come back you’ll realise how much you’ve been missed and that everyone will be able to move past this and just be glad that you’re back. Don’t forget how much we all care about you.
******
xxxxxx
........................................................................................................................................................................
Letter 3
..............
30th September 2007
To *****,
I wonder how you are today. Recently I’ve been dreaming about you a lot. Most of the time I walk into our form room and you’re just sitting there, like you were never even gone. It’s really strange, because everyone else in our class is sitting there as well like nothing happened, and I think was it all a dream. But then I wake up and realise that what I just saw was a dream and that in reality you’re still missing. I dream about you when I’ve been thinking about you during the day, which at the moment is quite often. I wonder if you’ll come back for Christmas or if I’ll have heard from you before then. I’d like to think so but inside the hope is dying away. Yesterday was the autumn fair and there was a stall for missing persons, and there was a huge poster of you. Almost anywhere that I looked people were wearing yellow ribbons and showing their support. I know that it must have meant a lot to your parents. Also on Friday its non-uniform jeans 4 genes day (not sure which way round it goes lol), and half the money raised is going to go to missing persons charity. Everyone cares about you so much and just wants you home.
Thinking of you
******
xxxxxx
.........................................................................................................................................................................
Letter 4
..............
1st January 2008
To *****,
Well it is now 2008. Happy New Year! I hope that you’re safe and that you had a good Christmas. I know that you have made contact but there is little comfort in knowing that you are living in Bristol with *****. That doesn’t qualify that you are safe in my mind.
It seems strange to think that this time last year we had been meeting up and showing each other what we got for Christmas. I remember you showing me a purple magnet necklace that you got from your parents amongst other gifts. You were so happy, although you and ***** started to "date" on Boxing Day of last year. I remember you talking to me about *****, saying how you thought he was in love with you. Then you got messages from him saying that this was how he felt and that he just wanted to be with you. I don’t think you actually wanted to date him, I think you just didn’t want to say no and make him depressed again and make his illness worse. You told me that you said yes on Boxing Day when you were drunk and that you were really regretting it. A couple of days later you were asking me for advice on how to tell him that you didn’t want to go out with him. He had immediately started sending you his declarations of love and it really freaked you out. So why did you agree to go and meet him? Deep inside you knew it wasn’t right to go and meet him alone. At one point you even asked me to go with you. Me and **** talked together about the situation and agreed to tell you that we didn’t want you to go and meet him, but you were annoyed because we had gone to the cinema without you. We explained that we had both tried to contact you the night before to find out if you coming but neither of us could get through to you. I think that must have been the first time that ***** threatened to commit suicide. That was the first time that Kate and I noticed a change in you. You weren’t the same from that point on, and I miss the old you so much. Our first and apparently last sleepover was spent mostly with you on the phone to *****.
Yesterday I was sat with my family and neighbours celebrating New Year. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I was wondering what you were doing at that point. I fear that you’ve gotten involved with drugs or that you’re pregnant or something. In that way I dread hearing from your mum. I hope that this year you will see how this experience has set you back. You have left school without any qualifications and for what? The love of your life? The love of your life wouldn’t have done this to you or your family. I hope that one day I will see you again, but every day I doubt that more and more. The last time that I saw you it seemed as though you were breaking free from *****’s grasp. He told you to make me leave. He gave us half an hour. But you wouldn’t let me leave until I was ready, even when he phoned to find out if I had gone. I hoped that that would be the point where you saw what he was really like and that everyone would get through this, but then you left again. You were missing for 6 months. The first time that I spoke to you after you had made contact it sounded like you would soon be coming home. You told me that you had seen the press appeals asking for any information on your whereabouts. Yet you still remained hidden. I don’t know what to think anymore. I just hope that one day you’ll see sense and realise what a huge mistake you’ve made. I can only hope that this will happen, and if it does, all of your family and friends will still be standing by you. That is how much we care.
******
xxxxxx
Monday, 31 December 2007
Message to my daughter
Well here we are on the very last day of 2007, and what a year it's been, this time last year you were here at home with us. Do you remember preparing for the New Years Eve party, all the usual friends coming round, you sent a message to a friend saying that I was being all maternal wanting you to tidy your room. I kept a hard copy of that message, in fact you would be amazed of what I've kept, daft things to remind me of what a kind, loving and caring girl you were.
So much has changed this year, you always used to say we were a boring family, that's hardly true now. Perhaps one day you will get to read the diary we have kept, along with this blog it will be an indepth insight into what has happened to the three of us while you've been gone.
Of course we may never know what happened to you, at least we know now that you are alive, six months of not knowing was unbearable. We have been told that the "boyfriend" introduced you to drugs back in February, and that is how he controlled you, of course we are not the ones close enough to see the truth, but it would explain a lot.
For the three of us 2008 brings us a fresh start and with it hope that we can be left to live our lives in peace, without the false accusations that have marred this year. I often wonder just how much you know about what HE has done, can you really be standing by him while he puts us through so much. The girl that we all know and love would never get involved in any of that, but then that you aren't that person anymore are you.
The daughter that I know and love was stolen from us, the independant teenager doing so well at a very good school, with a close group of friends. The girl whose friends stood by her while the "boyfriend" was threatening them in the worst possible way.
Your brother has changed so much, gone is the develish cute kid you remember,now he is mature beyond his years, he has had to grow up so fast.Like Dad and I he has learned to cope with the press, even appearing on live Tv appeals, did you see any of them? Were you affected by them at all?
Of course your schoolfriends have now sat their mock GCSE's, such a shame you will miss out on the opportunity to have any qualifications. You were doing so well at school, why if the "boyfriend" loved you so much did he take you away from that?
Despite what has happened this year we will always love you,that love can't be broken, in fact the more the "boyfriend" causes trouble the more people realise the truth.
He has tied himself up in knots with the constant lies, forgotten what he has said and contradicted himself so many times it would be funny if it wasn't so serious.
Well babes, hope you have a happy and safe 2008, please remember we are always here for you,
Mum x x x
So much has changed this year, you always used to say we were a boring family, that's hardly true now. Perhaps one day you will get to read the diary we have kept, along with this blog it will be an indepth insight into what has happened to the three of us while you've been gone.
Of course we may never know what happened to you, at least we know now that you are alive, six months of not knowing was unbearable. We have been told that the "boyfriend" introduced you to drugs back in February, and that is how he controlled you, of course we are not the ones close enough to see the truth, but it would explain a lot.
For the three of us 2008 brings us a fresh start and with it hope that we can be left to live our lives in peace, without the false accusations that have marred this year. I often wonder just how much you know about what HE has done, can you really be standing by him while he puts us through so much. The girl that we all know and love would never get involved in any of that, but then that you aren't that person anymore are you.
The daughter that I know and love was stolen from us, the independant teenager doing so well at a very good school, with a close group of friends. The girl whose friends stood by her while the "boyfriend" was threatening them in the worst possible way.
Your brother has changed so much, gone is the develish cute kid you remember,now he is mature beyond his years, he has had to grow up so fast.Like Dad and I he has learned to cope with the press, even appearing on live Tv appeals, did you see any of them? Were you affected by them at all?
Of course your schoolfriends have now sat their mock GCSE's, such a shame you will miss out on the opportunity to have any qualifications. You were doing so well at school, why if the "boyfriend" loved you so much did he take you away from that?
Despite what has happened this year we will always love you,that love can't be broken, in fact the more the "boyfriend" causes trouble the more people realise the truth.
He has tied himself up in knots with the constant lies, forgotten what he has said and contradicted himself so many times it would be funny if it wasn't so serious.
Well babes, hope you have a happy and safe 2008, please remember we are always here for you,
Mum x x x
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