Coventry

I have never agreed with commiting suicide,it always seems so unfair on those left behind,a coward's way out,however this year I came very close to doing just that.

My daughter had been missing for nearly 6 months when serious crime squad became involved,we were told that whatever happened we wouldn't want to go down the route of worst case scenario.Perhaps the police and I have different views on what that would have been,they of course believed it to be finding a body,3 months on I have to admit that would have been an easier option to what we are facing now.
We suffered the worst 6 months ever imaginable,the emotional trauma was at times too much to bear,the highs and lows,the not knowing and of course the mind games being played by the 3rd party.When we were told that our daughter was alive and living with the man who had been arrested over her disppearance,we had mixed emotions,glad to know she was alive but shocked by the circumstances and frustrated by the unanswered questions.
What tipped me over the edge was the vendetta that started that day,the stream of false allegations about me,the allegations that are still appearing all over the internet even today.
The police were very good and issued a press release to say that there was no truth in them but as a mum the allegations hurt beyond belief.Not only had the man won,he had groomed our daughter and removed her from the family home,but now he was turning the knife,there seemed to be no way out.

In the early hours of one Thursday morning,as usual unable to sleep,I found his latest horror stories on the internet.It was all too much,I grabbed my bottle of sleeping pills and got in the car,I had no idea where I was going,just needed to escape from the horror of the situation.
I'm not sure where I went or what was going through my mind,my phone rang non stop,sometimes I answered sometimes I didn't.Most of the calls were from people who were calling to say how fantastic it was that our daughter had been found safe,of course that just made me feel worse,she may have been found but was ,and still is,in my mind far from safe.
One call was from the senior police officer who had been in charge of the case,he was really concerned and was trying to get me to go home,but I couldn't see a way forward,I needed an escape route.I found myself at the Memorial Park in Coventry,it was a nice sunny day and quite a tranquil place to gather my thoughts.I walked a few laps of the park and then went back to the car,I got as far as taking the lid off the pills and a bottle of water,but something told me to do one more lap.
That extra lap saved my life,as I walked along the path I was stopped by police officers,they had been alerted by our local police and had traced my car,apparently they knew it was me because I was walking so unusually slowly.
I was taken to a police station and guarded for about 5 hours until my husband came to collect me,at some point during that time I was allowed to speak to my daughter.
It was the 1st time I had spoken to her in 6 months and I wasn't in any fit state to deal with it,I wish now I hadn't made the call until my head was clearer.There are so many questions I wanted to ask her,so many things I wanted to say,it's too late now the opportunity has gone.
Much as it breaks my heart,I doubt I will ever see her again,the world that she now lives in is a far cry from the safe and happy environment that she was used to.

Babes,if by chance you ever get to read this,please remember;
Your family will always love you no matter what,the bond that we have will never be broken,not by him or anyone else.
I love you Babes,I may not like what has happened but I will always love you x x x

The world of bebo

My children have always used bebo to chat to schoolfriends and neighbours,it all seemed so very innocent.2007 has opened my eyes to the more sinister world of cyberbullying and grooming which bebo doesn't seem to give care about.

When my daughter vanished early this year we started to trace what she had been doing on her pc,the police even tokk it away for analysis,confirming that she had been talking to an older man who was unknown to us.This man had been systematically threatening her schoolfriends,not what you would expect,really vile threats,so bad that one set of parents even went to the police and made a formal complaint about it.

I also discovered a bebo site that this person had set up which was clearly being used for grooming young girls,it was labelled as a depression site,giving advice and support.The only people that this person replied to were 12 -13 yr old girls,it made me feel sick to the pit of my stomach.

Now bebo is supposed to be self policing,they make that very well known when the press question their integrity,so I have tried out their wonderful 'report abuse' system.
You would expect that if you reported an offensive post that the people at bebo would take a look and remove it if necessary....oh no...don't be daft!!

I have made hard copies of dozens of abussive messages,threats and defamation of character pages,they will be used to push this problem into the public domain,although I'm not sure that bebo will like the free advertising!

Since 3rd October this year,one particular person has been using bebo as a voice box for some rather distasteful comments about me,he/she uses different user names but always the same IP address.Each time I have reported abuse to bebo,my account has been closed down and yet his has remained open,so it's seen as fine for this person to accuse me of crimes that the police deny ever happened,however for me to discuss Christmas shopping is abussive,forgive me if I'm confused!!!