How can I help my son to get through this nightmare?
He's hurting so badly,a whole year without his sister,the anger and frustration is pushing him to the limit and no explanation,no reason.
Today is the first day of half term,this time last year my son could see his sister slipping away from us.He always looked up to her,they were so close,now he hates her for the pain we have all been through.I can't explain the reasons for what happened,I don't have the answers,I want to hold him close and tell him it will all be ok.......but will it?
I know today's a tough one,he doesn't have to tell me,I can tell by the music.
Certain songs have become symbolic:snow patrol...cars,Paramore...broken, the one on the youtube video for ceop,and of course Greenday.....September
Our lives have been turned upside down and the future scares the hell out of me.
If anything happens to my son I don't think I could go on,yet I can't stop him from living his life.
His big sis should be here to support him,not living a different life away from the people who love her.
Saturday, 16 February 2008
My horoscope
This really made me laugh,
Horoscopes are usually a load of coblers,but this one seems so accurate!
Taureans are often described as stubborn.Honestly! What were those astrologers thinking of? You? Set in your ways?Doggedly determined? Why that is about as likely as....as.....well...er...I suppose,they may have a point.But only sometimes.Only when there's justification or a goal worth achieving.It is not as though you pick fights for the sake of it.
This week something is wrong and it has to be put right.That's going to require every last ounce of strength.Don't apologise for your motivation and tenacity,be proud of it.
Horoscopes are usually a load of coblers,but this one seems so accurate!
Taureans are often described as stubborn.Honestly! What were those astrologers thinking of? You? Set in your ways?Doggedly determined? Why that is about as likely as....as.....well...er...I suppose,they may have a point.But only sometimes.Only when there's justification or a goal worth achieving.It is not as though you pick fights for the sake of it.
This week something is wrong and it has to be put right.That's going to require every last ounce of strength.Don't apologise for your motivation and tenacity,be proud of it.
Wednesday, 13 February 2008
Public Protection Order
13th February
This date sticks in my mind,or is it the pit of my stomach?
Looking back to this day last year,it was the realisation of just what what we were dealing with,just how evil and cunning someone could really be.
Our daughter had been missing for 3 days,the police had spoken to her on the phone and convinced her to call in at a local police station so that she could be "sighted".
We were initially relieved that she had been found safe and well but the events that followed have haunted me ever since.
When she went out on 10th Feb she had left a really nice letter,saying that she was going away with ***** for a few days,we were livid of course but the letter reassured us everything would be back to normal very soon.
When the two of them appeared at the Bristol police station,she was detained under a Public Protection order,what happened next is unclear as we were not presesnt,the information we have has come from police officers so we believe it to be a true account of the events of that night.
Our loving daughter under the control of the perpetrator accused my husband and I of being child abusers,I still feel sick today thinking about this.
We have never hurt our children and never would,the Police of course had to investigate,which we fully accepted.
Due to the allegations and the fact that she had been trafficked over 3 hours away from home ,it was decided to place her in temporary Foster care overnight,sadly after approximately 3 hours she disappeared,not to be seen again for 2 weeks.
I will never understand how this guy controlled her,was it drugs,brainwashing,who knows?
But control he did,he stole my daughter last February,stole a much loved sister,we are now left with so much uncertainty and so many unanswered questions.
So what about this year?
At the moment memories are still raw,we try to live a normal a life as possible,but the truth is our lives will never ever be the same.
February 2007 changed us all forever,some people say things happen for a reason,some days that is easier to believe than others.
As a parent I will never be able to forgive myself for not protecting my little girl,for not being able to stop the grooming process once I could see what was happening,something that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
This date sticks in my mind,or is it the pit of my stomach?
Looking back to this day last year,it was the realisation of just what what we were dealing with,just how evil and cunning someone could really be.
Our daughter had been missing for 3 days,the police had spoken to her on the phone and convinced her to call in at a local police station so that she could be "sighted".
We were initially relieved that she had been found safe and well but the events that followed have haunted me ever since.
When she went out on 10th Feb she had left a really nice letter,saying that she was going away with ***** for a few days,we were livid of course but the letter reassured us everything would be back to normal very soon.
When the two of them appeared at the Bristol police station,she was detained under a Public Protection order,what happened next is unclear as we were not presesnt,the information we have has come from police officers so we believe it to be a true account of the events of that night.
Our loving daughter under the control of the perpetrator accused my husband and I of being child abusers,I still feel sick today thinking about this.
We have never hurt our children and never would,the Police of course had to investigate,which we fully accepted.
Due to the allegations and the fact that she had been trafficked over 3 hours away from home ,it was decided to place her in temporary Foster care overnight,sadly after approximately 3 hours she disappeared,not to be seen again for 2 weeks.
I will never understand how this guy controlled her,was it drugs,brainwashing,who knows?
But control he did,he stole my daughter last February,stole a much loved sister,we are now left with so much uncertainty and so many unanswered questions.
So what about this year?
At the moment memories are still raw,we try to live a normal a life as possible,but the truth is our lives will never ever be the same.
February 2007 changed us all forever,some people say things happen for a reason,some days that is easier to believe than others.
As a parent I will never be able to forgive myself for not protecting my little girl,for not being able to stop the grooming process once I could see what was happening,something that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
Sunday, 10 February 2008
Emotional overload
Today is so very hard,
10th February sticks vividly in my mind...the very first day my baby disappeared,the first day of our nightmare.
I'm trying to keep busy,cleaning the house,but memories are everywhere.All of her possessions have been put into storage,too painful to look at them any more.
Daft things trigger emotions,watering our only remaining houseplant,the others died long ago.The house was once full of plants,mostly her spider plants,about 47 I seem to remember,of course as the last year progressed the plants soon gave up the ghost,as did the pets and as did our hope.
Lurking in the shoe cupboard are a very dusty pair of school shoes,they should go in the bin,but I can't bring myself to do it,she has lost the opportunity to complete her education but somehow throwing them away seems so final.
As I dust the ornaments and picture frames I remember the sweet angelic girl I once knew,I wonder if I will ever see her again.Is she still loving and caring,honest and truthful or has he changed her beyond recognition?
My husband and I went to Westminster on Thursday to meet with the Bristol MP,she listened to what we had to say but somehow I don't think she heard us.
The truth is that appart from the team at CROP no-one really cares,the dreaded wasps certainly don't.I have yet to find a wasp who even understands what sexual grroming is!
Friends become strangers,avoiding you because they don't know what to say anymore,life becomes incredibly lonely.
Somehow it doesn't matter who wants to talk and who doesn't,there is only one person I want to sit down and talk to,so many questions unanswered,so much hurt,so much uncertainty.
10th February sticks vividly in my mind...the very first day my baby disappeared,the first day of our nightmare.
I'm trying to keep busy,cleaning the house,but memories are everywhere.All of her possessions have been put into storage,too painful to look at them any more.
Daft things trigger emotions,watering our only remaining houseplant,the others died long ago.The house was once full of plants,mostly her spider plants,about 47 I seem to remember,of course as the last year progressed the plants soon gave up the ghost,as did the pets and as did our hope.
Lurking in the shoe cupboard are a very dusty pair of school shoes,they should go in the bin,but I can't bring myself to do it,she has lost the opportunity to complete her education but somehow throwing them away seems so final.
As I dust the ornaments and picture frames I remember the sweet angelic girl I once knew,I wonder if I will ever see her again.Is she still loving and caring,honest and truthful or has he changed her beyond recognition?
My husband and I went to Westminster on Thursday to meet with the Bristol MP,she listened to what we had to say but somehow I don't think she heard us.
The truth is that appart from the team at CROP no-one really cares,the dreaded wasps certainly don't.I have yet to find a wasp who even understands what sexual grroming is!
Friends become strangers,avoiding you because they don't know what to say anymore,life becomes incredibly lonely.
Somehow it doesn't matter who wants to talk and who doesn't,there is only one person I want to sit down and talk to,so many questions unanswered,so much hurt,so much uncertainty.
Thursday, 7 February 2008
Stripping the soul
I once had a daughter, a beautiful happy intelligent girl,a girl I was so proud of.
She had plans to make something of her life,not to doss about but have a good life.....work hard,play hard,travel the world.
That all seems a long time ago now,the friends that she met on the internet all died suddenly!
Or did they? 3 different friends in the space of a few weeks.......I hardly think so!
The knight in shining armour stepped in to console her,he himself was in mourning for his mum or was it gran or was it sister?The story changed each week,we could see it but our daughter couldn't,our son told her he was a paedophile tring to stalk her but to no avail,the damage was done,he was bleeding her dry,stripping her very soul from within.
Who knows what the future holds now,the authorities don't care and to be quite honest after a year of fighting I'm not sure I have the strength to continue.
I am writing a book from our diary of the last year,it contains very graphic details,things that happened,feelings and emotions,hopes and fears.
Perhaps people will learn from our experience,spot the warning signs and take action sooner,it's too late for us,but if just one family is saved from the torment that we have endured it will be worth it.
She had plans to make something of her life,not to doss about but have a good life.....work hard,play hard,travel the world.
That all seems a long time ago now,the friends that she met on the internet all died suddenly!
Or did they? 3 different friends in the space of a few weeks.......I hardly think so!
The knight in shining armour stepped in to console her,he himself was in mourning for his mum or was it gran or was it sister?The story changed each week,we could see it but our daughter couldn't,our son told her he was a paedophile tring to stalk her but to no avail,the damage was done,he was bleeding her dry,stripping her very soul from within.
Who knows what the future holds now,the authorities don't care and to be quite honest after a year of fighting I'm not sure I have the strength to continue.
I am writing a book from our diary of the last year,it contains very graphic details,things that happened,feelings and emotions,hopes and fears.
Perhaps people will learn from our experience,spot the warning signs and take action sooner,it's too late for us,but if just one family is saved from the torment that we have endured it will be worth it.
Wednesday, 6 February 2008
Update on "the wasps"
At last senior wasp called me today,not because I had left umpteen messages for her or because I had asked junior wasp to get her to call me,oh no that would be far too simple,she called me because BIG wasp had received my official complaint!
I work on a very simple rule in life,do things when they need doing, don't put them off because it only makes things worse.The last year has taught me that if you ever leave a message for a wasp to contact you there isn't much chance of it happening without a fight.
Senior wasp today denied that junior wasp had ever failed to return my calls,of course the police advised us a very long time ago to record everything that happened especially relating to the dreaded wasps.
Denying daft little facts is pointless when my diaries now run into several large books,I can confirm any detail they wish to argue with.
I was told today that my daughter is safe and happy living with the man who was issued with child abduction papers and arrested for sexual grooming,the question is how do they know that she is safe and happy?
It should be simple to find out .......or you would think so!
But in fact the dreaded wasps who are so sure that she is safe have NEVER in fact met her!!!
I told senior wasp today that the general concensus is for the wasps to delay dealing with 15 year olds because if they dragged their feet long enough they could close the case,she didn't argue!
I wanted to have a sensible conversation with my son today about the future, he had overheard my conversation with the wasps today and wasn't impressed.
He told me that if they ever wanted to speak to him again they would be out of luck,you see not only have we been badly let down by them but so has he.
Another generation not trusting what they say,knowing how ineffectual they are,and knowing that they are no help in times of crisis.
I work on a very simple rule in life,do things when they need doing, don't put them off because it only makes things worse.The last year has taught me that if you ever leave a message for a wasp to contact you there isn't much chance of it happening without a fight.
Senior wasp today denied that junior wasp had ever failed to return my calls,of course the police advised us a very long time ago to record everything that happened especially relating to the dreaded wasps.
Denying daft little facts is pointless when my diaries now run into several large books,I can confirm any detail they wish to argue with.
I was told today that my daughter is safe and happy living with the man who was issued with child abduction papers and arrested for sexual grooming,the question is how do they know that she is safe and happy?
It should be simple to find out .......or you would think so!
But in fact the dreaded wasps who are so sure that she is safe have NEVER in fact met her!!!
I told senior wasp today that the general concensus is for the wasps to delay dealing with 15 year olds because if they dragged their feet long enough they could close the case,she didn't argue!
I wanted to have a sensible conversation with my son today about the future, he had overheard my conversation with the wasps today and wasn't impressed.
He told me that if they ever wanted to speak to him again they would be out of luck,you see not only have we been badly let down by them but so has he.
Another generation not trusting what they say,knowing how ineffectual they are,and knowing that they are no help in times of crisis.
Monday, 4 February 2008
The Police
New Years Eve 2006,we sat drinking with friends and neighbours laughing about the kids waving to passing police cars as we danced the streets,we all admited that we didn't know any of the local bobbies.
My God how much that has changed!
From the first missing person report filed by the local pc we soon moved up the ranks,our diary shows the endless number of officers entering our house,taking details,looking for evidence,investigating claims that our daughter was being beaten black and blue!
The local bobbies were clearly hacked off with the perpetrator and his lies,the repeated 999 calls when it was obvious nothing was happening,such a waste of their precious manpower.
We were always open and honest with the boys in blue and I'm sure that helped both sides,for a family who had no previous dealings with them we have certainly learnt a lot.
The local CID took over the case in early April,with specialist search teams coming in taking personal effects for DNA samples something that really shook us.
As the case progressed we were invited for regular strategy meetings at either wasp central,in the broom cupboard or in Silver Command suite at the Police station.
The first of those meetings left me feeling totally bewildered,to see our daughters details projected onto huge computer screens,just totally sureal.
Most of our contacts were with the lovely missper co-ordinator who was always available at the end of the phone,the DS and the DI who were both compassionate and proffesional throughout.
We met the area commander at one stage and were quite shocked that she knew so much about the case,we knew that the DCI had been involved but somehow it seemed that these people knew more about our daughter than we did.
Of course by the time our daughter was found,albeit at the home of the perpetrator the case had to be closed as far as her being missing was concerned,she was by then 16 years old.
So what happens next,do we follow what the wasps tell us and forget that we ever had a daughter, HELL NO! over my dead body,
The case is now being investigated by the UKHTC in Sheffield, yet another team of Police officers!
There is often poor reporting of the Police by the press but when you get as close to them as we have you soon realise that it is not them that is at fault but the laws themselves.
The red tape that restricts them is ludicrous,if they had the freedom to investigate crimes and prosecute as they should be able to the country would be in much better shape.
Sadly we are not in a good place,there is nothing Great about Britain anymore,political correctness has gone mad, do-gooders have done more harm than good, criminals are protected and that has to change,otherwise vigilantes will take over.
My God how much that has changed!
From the first missing person report filed by the local pc we soon moved up the ranks,our diary shows the endless number of officers entering our house,taking details,looking for evidence,investigating claims that our daughter was being beaten black and blue!
The local bobbies were clearly hacked off with the perpetrator and his lies,the repeated 999 calls when it was obvious nothing was happening,such a waste of their precious manpower.
We were always open and honest with the boys in blue and I'm sure that helped both sides,for a family who had no previous dealings with them we have certainly learnt a lot.
The local CID took over the case in early April,with specialist search teams coming in taking personal effects for DNA samples something that really shook us.
As the case progressed we were invited for regular strategy meetings at either wasp central,in the broom cupboard or in Silver Command suite at the Police station.
The first of those meetings left me feeling totally bewildered,to see our daughters details projected onto huge computer screens,just totally sureal.
Most of our contacts were with the lovely missper co-ordinator who was always available at the end of the phone,the DS and the DI who were both compassionate and proffesional throughout.
We met the area commander at one stage and were quite shocked that she knew so much about the case,we knew that the DCI had been involved but somehow it seemed that these people knew more about our daughter than we did.
Of course by the time our daughter was found,albeit at the home of the perpetrator the case had to be closed as far as her being missing was concerned,she was by then 16 years old.
So what happens next,do we follow what the wasps tell us and forget that we ever had a daughter, HELL NO! over my dead body,
The case is now being investigated by the UKHTC in Sheffield, yet another team of Police officers!
There is often poor reporting of the Police by the press but when you get as close to them as we have you soon realise that it is not them that is at fault but the laws themselves.
The red tape that restricts them is ludicrous,if they had the freedom to investigate crimes and prosecute as they should be able to the country would be in much better shape.
Sadly we are not in a good place,there is nothing Great about Britain anymore,political correctness has gone mad, do-gooders have done more harm than good, criminals are protected and that has to change,otherwise vigilantes will take over.
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