2007
2007 started as usual with the annual new year party, all was well, we all had a good time, not knowing that this would be a very rare happy moment in the year.
Our daughters mood was to change very quickly, she was in contact with a man on the internet, who seemed to have control over her, who could get her to do things when he asked, say things that she would never have said before, to become the complete opposite of the kind & caring daughter she had been before.
She no longer listened to what we said, only to this man, & became distant from her school friends, who had been threatened by the same man, as was to become apparent when the police came to visit in early February, the first of many visits to come. On the same day she dissappeared from home for the 1st time, & we started the all to regular process of reporting her missing.
Over the next 12 weeks we would report her missing another 5 times, & spend hours talking with police & social services discussing what to do next & how to go forward.
When she finally dissapeared in early April having made allegations at the request of this man, our 6 month nationwide appeal for information on her whereabouts was about to begin.
The police were fantastic, going out of their way to help us, & try to locate our daughter. Six months passed with no news, no confirmed sightings. We raised over €6000 for Missing People, with the aid of her school friends, who just wanted her home where she should be. She made countless radio appeals, did live tv & gave interviews to the national press.
We have been to places, & seen & done things that I never thought we would have to do.
During this time a man was arrested & charged with sexual grooming, but the crown prosecution service kept knocking the police back, saying that there was a lack of evidence.
I still don"t know how much more evidence they need. We all thought we had enough, including the police.
At the begining of october she contacted the police, but as she was now 16, they were powerless to do anything, & she now lives with the man she met on the internet.
We have since had to endure abusive messages on the internet, with little idea of how to stop it legally.
Throughout all of this we have had to relly heavily on friends & family for support, without whom we not have managed to carry on. Also our 14 yr old son has had to grow up very fast, his life has changed so much, a large part of it has been ripped away, he hasn't just lost a sister, he's lost his best friend.
I don't uderstand how my daughter can say & do the things that she has done. She has watched & heard us make the appeals & said nothing, just left us wondering if she is still alive.
I thought that we had raised her to be better than that, perhaps not. I just hope she thinks it is all worth it.
A year that shows I have failed to protect not only my daughter from un-desirable people, but also my wife & son from all of the hurt & up-heaval that they have had to go through.
Someone said one day that it must be tempting to go down the motorway & sort the problem myself, & perhaps I should, but I know I can't do perhaps I fail there to. These are things that I will have to live with this feeling of complete failure, but I try not to dwell on it to much because it all reduces me to tears.
Friday, 4 January 2008
The wasps
When families have problems there are a group of people who get involved,these people in my opinion have no use in society,they are now referred to in our family as the wasps.
My God this year has been a real eye opener,In my naive mind I really thought that the wasps would be there to help us in our hour of need,how wrong could I have possibly been?
I must admit that I have not had many dealings with them before and some people may think I'm tarring them with the same brush,so for those good ones out there I'm sorry but this is written from my experience.
My experience has been BAD in fact VERY BAD
Back in early Feb we alerted the wasps to the fact that our daughter was being groomed by an older man,we were told,
You are the parents...deal with it! It's your duty of care!
When they agreed that she had been sexually exploited,they said,
Supply her with condoms,it's your duty as parents!
When they came to assess our family situation it took 7 weeks for them to send out the report to us,by which time it was all completely irrelevant.
When they agreed that the relationship with her **** was totally wrong they said,
Invite him round for a meal,get to know him!
When she had been missing for months she said,
Leave her on the streets age 15 and you are responsible for what happens,but,
let the police keep looking for her and she will commit suicide!
When they admitted she wasn't safe with him they said,
Sign her custody over to him!
At strategy meetings to discuss OUR DAUGHTER and her safety they said,
Poor ****,he must be under so much mental strain!
WELL JUST FOR A MINUTE THINK ABOUT US,DON'T YOU THINK WE ARE UNDER B****Y STRAIN?
OH NO I FORGOT WE ARE JUST THE PARENTS,IT DOESN'T MATTER ABOUT US DOES IT!
Well thanks a lot guys,you have been no help what so ever.In fact I don't know why you get paid so much money,what exactly do you do?
My God this year has been a real eye opener,In my naive mind I really thought that the wasps would be there to help us in our hour of need,how wrong could I have possibly been?
I must admit that I have not had many dealings with them before and some people may think I'm tarring them with the same brush,so for those good ones out there I'm sorry but this is written from my experience.
My experience has been BAD in fact VERY BAD
Back in early Feb we alerted the wasps to the fact that our daughter was being groomed by an older man,we were told,
You are the parents...deal with it! It's your duty of care!
When they agreed that she had been sexually exploited,they said,
Supply her with condoms,it's your duty as parents!
When they came to assess our family situation it took 7 weeks for them to send out the report to us,by which time it was all completely irrelevant.
When they agreed that the relationship with her **** was totally wrong they said,
Invite him round for a meal,get to know him!
When she had been missing for months she said,
Leave her on the streets age 15 and you are responsible for what happens,but,
let the police keep looking for her and she will commit suicide!
When they admitted she wasn't safe with him they said,
Sign her custody over to him!
At strategy meetings to discuss OUR DAUGHTER and her safety they said,
Poor ****,he must be under so much mental strain!
WELL JUST FOR A MINUTE THINK ABOUT US,DON'T YOU THINK WE ARE UNDER B****Y STRAIN?
OH NO I FORGOT WE ARE JUST THE PARENTS,IT DOESN'T MATTER ABOUT US DOES IT!
Well thanks a lot guys,you have been no help what so ever.In fact I don't know why you get paid so much money,what exactly do you do?
Missing You
What I miss
Girl 2 girl chats
Frilly girlie bits in the laundry
Your love and compassion
You tuting on the flute
Your smile
Sharing pringles & dip while watching Eastenders
The way you could never see the bad in anyone
Your love of animals
The way you used to write me notes
In fact this list is stupid,
The truth is I miss every single thing about you
I love you so much there are days when I don't feel I can go on without you,
People tell me to forget about you and move on,
I will never be able to do that,no mum can forget 16 years of love
Baby I love you so much,please come home
Girl 2 girl chats
Frilly girlie bits in the laundry
Your love and compassion
You tuting on the flute
Your smile
Sharing pringles & dip while watching Eastenders
The way you could never see the bad in anyone
Your love of animals
The way you used to write me notes
In fact this list is stupid,
The truth is I miss every single thing about you
I love you so much there are days when I don't feel I can go on without you,
People tell me to forget about you and move on,
I will never be able to do that,no mum can forget 16 years of love
Baby I love you so much,please come home
Tuesday, 1 January 2008
Letters from my daughter's best friend
Letter 1
..............
22nd September 2007
To *****,
Happy 16th!! It seems hard to believe that another year has passed already, and I can look back at all the great times that we’ve had together, yet also think about all the things that we haven’t done together, and things that I wish I’d said to you. I wish that I had told you that I didn’t think it was good idea for you to go and meet *****. I sometimes wonder if you would still be here today celebrating your birthday and having a great time if I had done so. More than anything I would have liked to have given you your present, brought in a cake, and also a balloon for you and let the whole class sing happy birthday to you. This is certainly different to how I wanted you to be able to celebrate your 16th. I miss you so much. Not a day goes by when I don’t think about you, wonder if you’re ok. I hope that one day you’ll be able to read this letter and realise how much I care for you. You’re one of my best friends and I don’t know what I’d do without you. I haven’t really been able to cope. **** and ***** have been breaking down in tears, but I know that no-one can care for you like I do. Everyone thinks I’m coping fine, but I’m not. I just want to curl up in a corner and wait for you to come home. I hope every day that your mum will phone saying that you’ve been found. Even after all this time I can’t believe that you’ve gone, despite all of the coverage on the news and your absence at school. I want to come and visit you after school as though your ill, but deep down I know your not and that I can’t see you. I just want to hear your voice.
Goodnight for now,
******
xxxxxx
........................................................................................................................................................................
Letter 2
..............
23rd September 2007
To *****,
I wasn’t expecting to write you another letter so soon, but I’ve just found out about some things that ***** has been saying and it’s made me so angry. I want you to see how much he lies, and how he can’t possibly be all that you think he is because of this. You’ve gone missing because of him. He’s torn you away from your friends and family, and no matter what he says, we all care deeply for you otherwise we wouldn’t be advertising your disappearance, appealing for information on your whereabouts. Your mum and dad are also deeply worried about you. You might think that they’re putting on an act, but I can tell that it’s all real. I don’t think that you’ll even have seen the press coverage that you’ve had because of them. I just hope that when you come back you’ll realise how much you’ve been missed and that everyone will be able to move past this and just be glad that you’re back. Don’t forget how much we all care about you.
******
xxxxxx
........................................................................................................................................................................
Letter 3
..............
30th September 2007
To *****,
I wonder how you are today. Recently I’ve been dreaming about you a lot. Most of the time I walk into our form room and you’re just sitting there, like you were never even gone. It’s really strange, because everyone else in our class is sitting there as well like nothing happened, and I think was it all a dream. But then I wake up and realise that what I just saw was a dream and that in reality you’re still missing. I dream about you when I’ve been thinking about you during the day, which at the moment is quite often. I wonder if you’ll come back for Christmas or if I’ll have heard from you before then. I’d like to think so but inside the hope is dying away. Yesterday was the autumn fair and there was a stall for missing persons, and there was a huge poster of you. Almost anywhere that I looked people were wearing yellow ribbons and showing their support. I know that it must have meant a lot to your parents. Also on Friday its non-uniform jeans 4 genes day (not sure which way round it goes lol), and half the money raised is going to go to missing persons charity. Everyone cares about you so much and just wants you home.
Thinking of you
******
xxxxxx
.........................................................................................................................................................................
Letter 4
..............
1st January 2008
To *****,
Well it is now 2008. Happy New Year! I hope that you’re safe and that you had a good Christmas. I know that you have made contact but there is little comfort in knowing that you are living in Bristol with *****. That doesn’t qualify that you are safe in my mind.
It seems strange to think that this time last year we had been meeting up and showing each other what we got for Christmas. I remember you showing me a purple magnet necklace that you got from your parents amongst other gifts. You were so happy, although you and ***** started to "date" on Boxing Day of last year. I remember you talking to me about *****, saying how you thought he was in love with you. Then you got messages from him saying that this was how he felt and that he just wanted to be with you. I don’t think you actually wanted to date him, I think you just didn’t want to say no and make him depressed again and make his illness worse. You told me that you said yes on Boxing Day when you were drunk and that you were really regretting it. A couple of days later you were asking me for advice on how to tell him that you didn’t want to go out with him. He had immediately started sending you his declarations of love and it really freaked you out. So why did you agree to go and meet him? Deep inside you knew it wasn’t right to go and meet him alone. At one point you even asked me to go with you. Me and **** talked together about the situation and agreed to tell you that we didn’t want you to go and meet him, but you were annoyed because we had gone to the cinema without you. We explained that we had both tried to contact you the night before to find out if you coming but neither of us could get through to you. I think that must have been the first time that ***** threatened to commit suicide. That was the first time that Kate and I noticed a change in you. You weren’t the same from that point on, and I miss the old you so much. Our first and apparently last sleepover was spent mostly with you on the phone to *****.
Yesterday I was sat with my family and neighbours celebrating New Year. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I was wondering what you were doing at that point. I fear that you’ve gotten involved with drugs or that you’re pregnant or something. In that way I dread hearing from your mum. I hope that this year you will see how this experience has set you back. You have left school without any qualifications and for what? The love of your life? The love of your life wouldn’t have done this to you or your family. I hope that one day I will see you again, but every day I doubt that more and more. The last time that I saw you it seemed as though you were breaking free from *****’s grasp. He told you to make me leave. He gave us half an hour. But you wouldn’t let me leave until I was ready, even when he phoned to find out if I had gone. I hoped that that would be the point where you saw what he was really like and that everyone would get through this, but then you left again. You were missing for 6 months. The first time that I spoke to you after you had made contact it sounded like you would soon be coming home. You told me that you had seen the press appeals asking for any information on your whereabouts. Yet you still remained hidden. I don’t know what to think anymore. I just hope that one day you’ll see sense and realise what a huge mistake you’ve made. I can only hope that this will happen, and if it does, all of your family and friends will still be standing by you. That is how much we care.
******
xxxxxx
..............
22nd September 2007
To *****,
Happy 16th!! It seems hard to believe that another year has passed already, and I can look back at all the great times that we’ve had together, yet also think about all the things that we haven’t done together, and things that I wish I’d said to you. I wish that I had told you that I didn’t think it was good idea for you to go and meet *****. I sometimes wonder if you would still be here today celebrating your birthday and having a great time if I had done so. More than anything I would have liked to have given you your present, brought in a cake, and also a balloon for you and let the whole class sing happy birthday to you. This is certainly different to how I wanted you to be able to celebrate your 16th. I miss you so much. Not a day goes by when I don’t think about you, wonder if you’re ok. I hope that one day you’ll be able to read this letter and realise how much I care for you. You’re one of my best friends and I don’t know what I’d do without you. I haven’t really been able to cope. **** and ***** have been breaking down in tears, but I know that no-one can care for you like I do. Everyone thinks I’m coping fine, but I’m not. I just want to curl up in a corner and wait for you to come home. I hope every day that your mum will phone saying that you’ve been found. Even after all this time I can’t believe that you’ve gone, despite all of the coverage on the news and your absence at school. I want to come and visit you after school as though your ill, but deep down I know your not and that I can’t see you. I just want to hear your voice.
Goodnight for now,
******
xxxxxx
........................................................................................................................................................................
Letter 2
..............
23rd September 2007
To *****,
I wasn’t expecting to write you another letter so soon, but I’ve just found out about some things that ***** has been saying and it’s made me so angry. I want you to see how much he lies, and how he can’t possibly be all that you think he is because of this. You’ve gone missing because of him. He’s torn you away from your friends and family, and no matter what he says, we all care deeply for you otherwise we wouldn’t be advertising your disappearance, appealing for information on your whereabouts. Your mum and dad are also deeply worried about you. You might think that they’re putting on an act, but I can tell that it’s all real. I don’t think that you’ll even have seen the press coverage that you’ve had because of them. I just hope that when you come back you’ll realise how much you’ve been missed and that everyone will be able to move past this and just be glad that you’re back. Don’t forget how much we all care about you.
******
xxxxxx
........................................................................................................................................................................
Letter 3
..............
30th September 2007
To *****,
I wonder how you are today. Recently I’ve been dreaming about you a lot. Most of the time I walk into our form room and you’re just sitting there, like you were never even gone. It’s really strange, because everyone else in our class is sitting there as well like nothing happened, and I think was it all a dream. But then I wake up and realise that what I just saw was a dream and that in reality you’re still missing. I dream about you when I’ve been thinking about you during the day, which at the moment is quite often. I wonder if you’ll come back for Christmas or if I’ll have heard from you before then. I’d like to think so but inside the hope is dying away. Yesterday was the autumn fair and there was a stall for missing persons, and there was a huge poster of you. Almost anywhere that I looked people were wearing yellow ribbons and showing their support. I know that it must have meant a lot to your parents. Also on Friday its non-uniform jeans 4 genes day (not sure which way round it goes lol), and half the money raised is going to go to missing persons charity. Everyone cares about you so much and just wants you home.
Thinking of you
******
xxxxxx
.........................................................................................................................................................................
Letter 4
..............
1st January 2008
To *****,
Well it is now 2008. Happy New Year! I hope that you’re safe and that you had a good Christmas. I know that you have made contact but there is little comfort in knowing that you are living in Bristol with *****. That doesn’t qualify that you are safe in my mind.
It seems strange to think that this time last year we had been meeting up and showing each other what we got for Christmas. I remember you showing me a purple magnet necklace that you got from your parents amongst other gifts. You were so happy, although you and ***** started to "date" on Boxing Day of last year. I remember you talking to me about *****, saying how you thought he was in love with you. Then you got messages from him saying that this was how he felt and that he just wanted to be with you. I don’t think you actually wanted to date him, I think you just didn’t want to say no and make him depressed again and make his illness worse. You told me that you said yes on Boxing Day when you were drunk and that you were really regretting it. A couple of days later you were asking me for advice on how to tell him that you didn’t want to go out with him. He had immediately started sending you his declarations of love and it really freaked you out. So why did you agree to go and meet him? Deep inside you knew it wasn’t right to go and meet him alone. At one point you even asked me to go with you. Me and **** talked together about the situation and agreed to tell you that we didn’t want you to go and meet him, but you were annoyed because we had gone to the cinema without you. We explained that we had both tried to contact you the night before to find out if you coming but neither of us could get through to you. I think that must have been the first time that ***** threatened to commit suicide. That was the first time that Kate and I noticed a change in you. You weren’t the same from that point on, and I miss the old you so much. Our first and apparently last sleepover was spent mostly with you on the phone to *****.
Yesterday I was sat with my family and neighbours celebrating New Year. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I was wondering what you were doing at that point. I fear that you’ve gotten involved with drugs or that you’re pregnant or something. In that way I dread hearing from your mum. I hope that this year you will see how this experience has set you back. You have left school without any qualifications and for what? The love of your life? The love of your life wouldn’t have done this to you or your family. I hope that one day I will see you again, but every day I doubt that more and more. The last time that I saw you it seemed as though you were breaking free from *****’s grasp. He told you to make me leave. He gave us half an hour. But you wouldn’t let me leave until I was ready, even when he phoned to find out if I had gone. I hoped that that would be the point where you saw what he was really like and that everyone would get through this, but then you left again. You were missing for 6 months. The first time that I spoke to you after you had made contact it sounded like you would soon be coming home. You told me that you had seen the press appeals asking for any information on your whereabouts. Yet you still remained hidden. I don’t know what to think anymore. I just hope that one day you’ll see sense and realise what a huge mistake you’ve made. I can only hope that this will happen, and if it does, all of your family and friends will still be standing by you. That is how much we care.
******
xxxxxx
Monday, 31 December 2007
Message to my daughter
Well here we are on the very last day of 2007, and what a year it's been, this time last year you were here at home with us. Do you remember preparing for the New Years Eve party, all the usual friends coming round, you sent a message to a friend saying that I was being all maternal wanting you to tidy your room. I kept a hard copy of that message, in fact you would be amazed of what I've kept, daft things to remind me of what a kind, loving and caring girl you were.
So much has changed this year, you always used to say we were a boring family, that's hardly true now. Perhaps one day you will get to read the diary we have kept, along with this blog it will be an indepth insight into what has happened to the three of us while you've been gone.
Of course we may never know what happened to you, at least we know now that you are alive, six months of not knowing was unbearable. We have been told that the "boyfriend" introduced you to drugs back in February, and that is how he controlled you, of course we are not the ones close enough to see the truth, but it would explain a lot.
For the three of us 2008 brings us a fresh start and with it hope that we can be left to live our lives in peace, without the false accusations that have marred this year. I often wonder just how much you know about what HE has done, can you really be standing by him while he puts us through so much. The girl that we all know and love would never get involved in any of that, but then that you aren't that person anymore are you.
The daughter that I know and love was stolen from us, the independant teenager doing so well at a very good school, with a close group of friends. The girl whose friends stood by her while the "boyfriend" was threatening them in the worst possible way.
Your brother has changed so much, gone is the develish cute kid you remember,now he is mature beyond his years, he has had to grow up so fast.Like Dad and I he has learned to cope with the press, even appearing on live Tv appeals, did you see any of them? Were you affected by them at all?
Of course your schoolfriends have now sat their mock GCSE's, such a shame you will miss out on the opportunity to have any qualifications. You were doing so well at school, why if the "boyfriend" loved you so much did he take you away from that?
Despite what has happened this year we will always love you,that love can't be broken, in fact the more the "boyfriend" causes trouble the more people realise the truth.
He has tied himself up in knots with the constant lies, forgotten what he has said and contradicted himself so many times it would be funny if it wasn't so serious.
Well babes, hope you have a happy and safe 2008, please remember we are always here for you,
Mum x x x
So much has changed this year, you always used to say we were a boring family, that's hardly true now. Perhaps one day you will get to read the diary we have kept, along with this blog it will be an indepth insight into what has happened to the three of us while you've been gone.
Of course we may never know what happened to you, at least we know now that you are alive, six months of not knowing was unbearable. We have been told that the "boyfriend" introduced you to drugs back in February, and that is how he controlled you, of course we are not the ones close enough to see the truth, but it would explain a lot.
For the three of us 2008 brings us a fresh start and with it hope that we can be left to live our lives in peace, without the false accusations that have marred this year. I often wonder just how much you know about what HE has done, can you really be standing by him while he puts us through so much. The girl that we all know and love would never get involved in any of that, but then that you aren't that person anymore are you.
The daughter that I know and love was stolen from us, the independant teenager doing so well at a very good school, with a close group of friends. The girl whose friends stood by her while the "boyfriend" was threatening them in the worst possible way.
Your brother has changed so much, gone is the develish cute kid you remember,now he is mature beyond his years, he has had to grow up so fast.Like Dad and I he has learned to cope with the press, even appearing on live Tv appeals, did you see any of them? Were you affected by them at all?
Of course your schoolfriends have now sat their mock GCSE's, such a shame you will miss out on the opportunity to have any qualifications. You were doing so well at school, why if the "boyfriend" loved you so much did he take you away from that?
Despite what has happened this year we will always love you,that love can't be broken, in fact the more the "boyfriend" causes trouble the more people realise the truth.
He has tied himself up in knots with the constant lies, forgotten what he has said and contradicted himself so many times it would be funny if it wasn't so serious.
Well babes, hope you have a happy and safe 2008, please remember we are always here for you,
Mum x x x
Sunday, 30 December 2007
Threats and accusations
I have never been a naive person but I have to admit a lot of what has happened this year has shocked me,of course I was aware of cyberbullying and false accusations,but this is just ridiculous!
Back in February2007 the local police wanted to speak to our daughter due to her "boyfriend" making threats to her schoolfriend,not just any old threats,some really nasty stuff,he even accused her of dealing in drugs and reported it to the police.I must admit I had forgotten about that part until a friend reminded me today.
Of course the police weren't able to speak to our daughter as she had gone walkabouts,the first of many disappearing acts this year.
Looking back at what has happened since is like reading some far fetched novel,in fact if we hadn't recorded every detail in our now mammoth diary there is no way I would remember it all.The "boyfriend" had also threatened another friend,on a bebo site,I would post it here but to be honest,I don't want to see it again,it is vile!!
Between February and April the "boyfriend" made several phone calls to the police, in fact one weekend he made a bloody nuicance of himself, phoning up several times an hour on 999 calls.
He accused us of harming our daughter, each time the police came round she was happily in her room, totally unaware as we were that any assault had taken place.
I was disturbed to say the least by his behaviour but was told by the authorities that he had mental health problems and he didn't understand what he was doing, mmmmmm believe that if you wish!!
In March our daughter reported to a Doctor in Bristol with obvious self harm injuries, the doctor was told that our daughter was the victim of child abuse by an abussive alcoholic mother!!!!
When the doctor was later interviewed about this report they stated that they didn't believe a word of it but had to write what they were told!!
That is something that to this day I will never understand, what happened to ethics,truth and justice!
The police obviously investigated this, and as I clearly had nothing to hide as I had done nothing wrong, I was more than willing to discuss anything with the police and answer any questions they had.
To this day we still have a good relationship with the police, we have always been upfront and truthful with them, any innocent person will, as we did happily answer any questions they may have.
The officers who interviewed our daughter have made it clear that they didn't believe a word,they were in no doubt that she was being totally controlled by the "boyfriend".
What they read in that letter was clearly rubbish,the injuries were consistent with self harm.
Since October someone with a Bristol IP address has been leaving messages all over the internet to say that I am a serial child abuser,some are almost funny they are so ridiculous.I admit that I have found some very hurtful,as a loving and caring mum who had always had a strong relationship with her daughter anyone would be upset by them.
I read this week that I have been the subject of an NSPCC investigation.....really?
Funny but I think I might have been aware of it!!
This same person has also threatened dozens of people who I have never even met, people who kindly showed our daughters details on internet sites during the 6 long months that she was missing.Many of these people have forwarded me details of e.mails that they had received, most are from a lady called *** who coincidentally has the same e.mail address as the "boyfriend"
The same e.mail address that was used in letters to the press complaints authority and the same e.mail address that was used by the person who set up a bebo account over a year ago designed to target young vulnerable young girls, telling them that they were very sexy!!!
I have given copies of the threats to the police and to a journalist,our diary is ongoing,this story is far from over.We haven't seen our daughter since April,who knows if we ever will? She is the victim of a crime and one day we hope that she will be free to tell the world about the dangers of sexual grooming,but first she nees to break free from the clutches of the "boyfriend".
Back in February2007 the local police wanted to speak to our daughter due to her "boyfriend" making threats to her schoolfriend,not just any old threats,some really nasty stuff,he even accused her of dealing in drugs and reported it to the police.I must admit I had forgotten about that part until a friend reminded me today.
Of course the police weren't able to speak to our daughter as she had gone walkabouts,the first of many disappearing acts this year.
Looking back at what has happened since is like reading some far fetched novel,in fact if we hadn't recorded every detail in our now mammoth diary there is no way I would remember it all.The "boyfriend" had also threatened another friend,on a bebo site,I would post it here but to be honest,I don't want to see it again,it is vile!!
Between February and April the "boyfriend" made several phone calls to the police, in fact one weekend he made a bloody nuicance of himself, phoning up several times an hour on 999 calls.
He accused us of harming our daughter, each time the police came round she was happily in her room, totally unaware as we were that any assault had taken place.
I was disturbed to say the least by his behaviour but was told by the authorities that he had mental health problems and he didn't understand what he was doing, mmmmmm believe that if you wish!!
In March our daughter reported to a Doctor in Bristol with obvious self harm injuries, the doctor was told that our daughter was the victim of child abuse by an abussive alcoholic mother!!!!
When the doctor was later interviewed about this report they stated that they didn't believe a word of it but had to write what they were told!!
That is something that to this day I will never understand, what happened to ethics,truth and justice!
The police obviously investigated this, and as I clearly had nothing to hide as I had done nothing wrong, I was more than willing to discuss anything with the police and answer any questions they had.
To this day we still have a good relationship with the police, we have always been upfront and truthful with them, any innocent person will, as we did happily answer any questions they may have.
The officers who interviewed our daughter have made it clear that they didn't believe a word,they were in no doubt that she was being totally controlled by the "boyfriend".
What they read in that letter was clearly rubbish,the injuries were consistent with self harm.
Since October someone with a Bristol IP address has been leaving messages all over the internet to say that I am a serial child abuser,some are almost funny they are so ridiculous.I admit that I have found some very hurtful,as a loving and caring mum who had always had a strong relationship with her daughter anyone would be upset by them.
I read this week that I have been the subject of an NSPCC investigation.....really?
Funny but I think I might have been aware of it!!
This same person has also threatened dozens of people who I have never even met, people who kindly showed our daughters details on internet sites during the 6 long months that she was missing.Many of these people have forwarded me details of e.mails that they had received, most are from a lady called *** who coincidentally has the same e.mail address as the "boyfriend"
The same e.mail address that was used in letters to the press complaints authority and the same e.mail address that was used by the person who set up a bebo account over a year ago designed to target young vulnerable young girls, telling them that they were very sexy!!!
I have given copies of the threats to the police and to a journalist,our diary is ongoing,this story is far from over.We haven't seen our daughter since April,who knows if we ever will? She is the victim of a crime and one day we hope that she will be free to tell the world about the dangers of sexual grooming,but first she nees to break free from the clutches of the "boyfriend".
blog comment from a schoolfriend
This message was posted on the mirror forum by a schoolfriend of my daughter,I have deleted any names to respect privacy,but I feel it is important that people understand just how many are affected by this situation.It's not immediate family,close friends but hundreds of other people.
.......................................................................................................................................................................
People on this website have been so kind and lovely, discussing ****** disapearance and offering words of support.
However, they don't know really the whole story do they? Who does? I don't! This feels like something out of a story book, or something you'd see on the news. Like on a story I read today that someone who spoke to ***** wrote, 'it's not meant to happen to you, just other people!' Not saying that its meant to happen to others, but it just doesn't feel right. When I see *****'s posters in shop windows it doesn't feel like my friend. When i lie awake at night and think again and agian and again what has happened, how could it have happened.... what is the meaning of everything.... it doesn't seem real.
It still hasn't hit me yet, I don't think. Sometimes when i cry because of something stupid, i think about ***** and maybe that's why I'm so upset. Somehow, I don't think so, though. Somehow this isn't the end.
I went to Devon the other day and stopped at a service station, and the same one on the way back. It was just outside Bristol. I knew ***** wouldn't be there, but i couldn't help looking for her. I've invisaged a thousand times what would happen if I found her, if I saw her. Many possibilities. However, I know deep down that I probably will never see her and be the one to let her family know she's safe, no matter how much I want to. I looked around that service station for ages, feeling (i know this sounds stupid.... closer to her. I do belive she's in Bristol, or near it. I could see Bristol (or the outskirts of it) from Devon, the coast. Wales, Cardiff, all along there and I just didn't want to be there anymore. I couldn't help thinking - what if ***** is just across the water?
I know it again, sounds stupid, but when Im older I'm going to go and visit there. I know i wasn't *****'s best friend, I know I wasn't anywhere near as close to her as her brother and other friends, but thats not the point. Whenever I go on the websites, read the posts and reply to the comments, I want to do more. I set up this site, but it's not enough. I want everyone in England to know about *****, and it can't just be me that feels the same way. Her family are desperate to get her back, and i feel a grest sense of reassureance when i think about fundraising or ask people to do this, that, or put up a poster. How selfish does that sound? Very.
***** was, just a friend. The one i got told off for turning to talk to in English, the one who hid her phone with her hair as she texted people - every time. The one who i used to eat icing with in ICS, and the one who ++++++ and I left her chair empty for weeks after her dissapearance, in hope, and respect that she'd be sitting with us again soon.
Theres more I want to say, but i think i've written enough, and i dont think i can write anymore.
Sorry if i've offended anyone in writing this, i don't see how i can have, but i still feel bad for writing this down.
We miss you ***** X
.......................................................................................................................................................................
People on this website have been so kind and lovely, discussing ****** disapearance and offering words of support.
However, they don't know really the whole story do they? Who does? I don't! This feels like something out of a story book, or something you'd see on the news. Like on a story I read today that someone who spoke to ***** wrote, 'it's not meant to happen to you, just other people!' Not saying that its meant to happen to others, but it just doesn't feel right. When I see *****'s posters in shop windows it doesn't feel like my friend. When i lie awake at night and think again and agian and again what has happened, how could it have happened.... what is the meaning of everything.... it doesn't seem real.
It still hasn't hit me yet, I don't think. Sometimes when i cry because of something stupid, i think about ***** and maybe that's why I'm so upset. Somehow, I don't think so, though. Somehow this isn't the end.
I went to Devon the other day and stopped at a service station, and the same one on the way back. It was just outside Bristol. I knew ***** wouldn't be there, but i couldn't help looking for her. I've invisaged a thousand times what would happen if I found her, if I saw her. Many possibilities. However, I know deep down that I probably will never see her and be the one to let her family know she's safe, no matter how much I want to. I looked around that service station for ages, feeling (i know this sounds stupid.... closer to her. I do belive she's in Bristol, or near it. I could see Bristol (or the outskirts of it) from Devon, the coast. Wales, Cardiff, all along there and I just didn't want to be there anymore. I couldn't help thinking - what if ***** is just across the water?
I know it again, sounds stupid, but when Im older I'm going to go and visit there. I know i wasn't *****'s best friend, I know I wasn't anywhere near as close to her as her brother and other friends, but thats not the point. Whenever I go on the websites, read the posts and reply to the comments, I want to do more. I set up this site, but it's not enough. I want everyone in England to know about *****, and it can't just be me that feels the same way. Her family are desperate to get her back, and i feel a grest sense of reassureance when i think about fundraising or ask people to do this, that, or put up a poster. How selfish does that sound? Very.
***** was, just a friend. The one i got told off for turning to talk to in English, the one who hid her phone with her hair as she texted people - every time. The one who i used to eat icing with in ICS, and the one who ++++++ and I left her chair empty for weeks after her dissapearance, in hope, and respect that she'd be sitting with us again soon.
Theres more I want to say, but i think i've written enough, and i dont think i can write anymore.
Sorry if i've offended anyone in writing this, i don't see how i can have, but i still feel bad for writing this down.
We miss you ***** X
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