blog comment from a schoolfriend

This message was posted on the mirror forum by a schoolfriend of my daughter,I have deleted any names to respect privacy,but I feel it is important that people understand just how many are affected by this situation.It's not immediate family,close friends but hundreds of other people.

.......................................................................................................................................................................
People on this website have been so kind and lovely, discussing ****** disapearance and offering words of support.

However, they don't know really the whole story do they? Who does? I don't! This feels like something out of a story book, or something you'd see on the news. Like on a story I read today that someone who spoke to ***** wrote, 'it's not meant to happen to you, just other people!' Not saying that its meant to happen to others, but it just doesn't feel right. When I see *****'s posters in shop windows it doesn't feel like my friend. When i lie awake at night and think again and agian and again what has happened, how could it have happened.... what is the meaning of everything.... it doesn't seem real.
It still hasn't hit me yet, I don't think. Sometimes when i cry because of something stupid, i think about ***** and maybe that's why I'm so upset. Somehow, I don't think so, though. Somehow this isn't the end.
I went to Devon the other day and stopped at a service station, and the same one on the way back. It was just outside Bristol. I knew ***** wouldn't be there, but i couldn't help looking for her. I've invisaged a thousand times what would happen if I found her, if I saw her. Many possibilities. However, I know deep down that I probably will never see her and be the one to let her family know she's safe, no matter how much I want to. I looked around that service station for ages, feeling (i know this sounds stupid.... closer to her. I do belive she's in Bristol, or near it. I could see Bristol (or the outskirts of it) from Devon, the coast. Wales, Cardiff, all along there and I just didn't want to be there anymore. I couldn't help thinking - what if ***** is just across the water?
I know it again, sounds stupid, but when Im older I'm going to go and visit there. I know i wasn't *****'s best friend, I know I wasn't anywhere near as close to her as her brother and other friends, but thats not the point. Whenever I go on the websites, read the posts and reply to the comments, I want to do more. I set up this site, but it's not enough. I want everyone in England to know about *****, and it can't just be me that feels the same way. Her family are desperate to get her back, and i feel a grest sense of reassureance when i think about fundraising or ask people to do this, that, or put up a poster. How selfish does that sound? Very.
***** was, just a friend. The one i got told off for turning to talk to in English, the one who hid her phone with her hair as she texted people - every time. The one who i used to eat icing with in ICS, and the one who ++++++ and I left her chair empty for weeks after her dissapearance, in hope, and respect that she'd be sitting with us again soon.
Theres more I want to say, but i think i've written enough, and i dont think i can write anymore.
Sorry if i've offended anyone in writing this, i don't see how i can have, but i still feel bad for writing this down.
We miss you ***** X