CROP Conference November 2007

I was very proud to be invited to make a speech at the national conference on sexual exploitation in Leeds this year,the conference was organised by CROP who are a support group for families affected by sexual grooming.

It was reassuring to know that we are not the only family affected by this nightmare situation,however some of the stories we heard were truly harrowing.There were approx 100 people at the conference,mostly from support groups,the guest speakers included ;
Nimesh Jani -Senior advisor to the Attorney General and Solicitor General,
Sven Gunnar Liden - the Swedish experience,
Peter Clark - Department for children,schools,
Ann Lucas - UK Human Trafficking centre

As a parent fairly new to this whole situation I felt like a fish out of water,I should be getting used to it by now,after all this whole year has been a steep learning curve and far from my comfort zone.

I have to admit the conference left me feeling that the authorities are either unaware of the seriousness of the situation or that they just don't care because it hasn't happened to them.
what would happen if one of the politician's children went through a similar situation?I'm sure the law would be changed overnight,there is no way they would be feeling the way that we all do.The laws of this country need to be changed,children have to be protected from this vile crime and criminals have to be punished for their crimes.

When I was asked to make my speech,I was told to talk about my experience,I wasn't sure what to write,how could I possibly condense 8 months into 6 minutes?
Another mum stood up and spoke about her story first,it left me feeling a bit concerned that what I had written wasn't what they wanted but in fact we had complimented each other with our different styles of writing.

The feedback from the conference was apparently very good,many people had commented that hearing directly from parents had made the whole problem seem much more real,for those of you who have asked to see my speech,here it is....

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I'm not quite sure what makes me qualified to stand here today,I'm not in any way experienced at public speaking,Up until early this year I had never even heard of CROP,I new nothing of sexual exploitation,or the consequences of it,To be perfectly honest I wish I still didn't.
Some of you may recognise me from TV appeals or press reports,I really wish you didn't,I wanted to carry on my life as a no-body,I wanted to live with my husband and children around me,My quiet,dull life,in a sleepy market town,where nothing much happens.
Earlier this year our family was thrown into complete turmoil,Our lives turned upside down,We have been left in an impossible situation,Experienced emotions that we didn't know existed,And visited the darkest of places in our minds,
I often ask why has this happened to US?Why not someone else?Surely it happens to OTHER people,Not our family,we're just normal,Or at least we used to be,
We sat with friends last New Years Eve,Just chatting and having a laugh,I clearly remember us all saying that we couldn't name a local bobby,We'd never had any dealings with the police,Lets face it we never needed to,
By February this year that was to change,Our 15 year old daughter disappeared after getting involved with an older man,We didn't approve,the circumstances weren't right,It wasn't a NORMAL relationship,Something felt VERY wrong but we couldn't pinpoint what at first.
Why would he shower her with gifts,and then threaten to kill himself,Why should he keep supplying her with secret mobile phones,What could he achieve by threatening her friends,Did he get a kick out of playing mind games?He certainly enjoyed the attention of the police.
I'm sure she thought we just didn't like him,But even now we have still never met him,He phoned 999 on a regular basis,reporting us for everything,Bullying,harrasment,assault,and even child abuse....you name it, he said it,He also made complaints against dozens of police officers.
Since that fateful day we have learnt so much,Sat in meetings with senior police officers,Amassed a huge amount of information,evidence and such like,We have stepped into a different world,It started a never ending roller coaster ride of emotions.
Some of what we have learnt has scared us to death,some things have left us plain angry,:) Each time something bad happens,CROP are there to reassure us,They keep telling us it's normal,Whatever normal is in our lives these days,
It's normal to have your lives turned upside down,Normal to be on first name terms with senior police officers,Normal to sit in meetings at silver command suite,Normal to go on live TV,pleading for information,Normal to be accused of the most horrendous crimes
We've been really lucky in some respects,The police officers handling our case have been great,They have showed both compassion and professionalism,They have strived to get a conviction,Despite the red tape restricting them,
Sadly the reality is that criminals are protected in today's society,they are getting away with the most horrendous crimes,Children are at risk of sexual exploitation,And as parents......we don't have rightsAnd if you think we do then you are sadly mistaken,
What makes it right for these people to get away with their crimes?How do they slip through the net,time and time again?Who is responsible for children over the age of 15?Is it still the parents........only if the law suits!Ask any police officer and they will tell you..it's a grey area!
Ask social services if you dare,As a parent you can be prosecuted if your child doesn't attend school,Even if you don't know where they are,Don't ask them any tricky questions though,You could be waiting a very long time for the answer,
I've spent many a sleepless night this year searching the great internet,I could go online now and find men searching for vulnerable girls,Chatting them up on web sites,arranging to meet up,for friendship or more!During my searches I found one such girl who had been in a similar situation,Her story scared me to death,the man concerned was VERY familiar to us.
The police officer in charge of our case worked tirelessly for a conviction,he accumulated mountains of evidence,a man was issued with child abduction papers,he was later arrested on sexual grooming charges,Sadly each time the case was submitted,the cps turned it down,due to lack of hard evidence.
I still love my daughter dearly,although we haven't seen her for nearly 8 monthsI love the caring,gentle girl she once was,The kind and compassionate girl I was so proud of,Will I ever see my daughter again? Who knows?perhaps one day she will be free to think for herself again.
It may be too late to save our family,But it's not too late to help others,It's time to get the laws changed,IT'S TIME TO START PROTECTING CHILDRENTIME TO PROSECUTE THE CRIMINALS
TAKE ACTION NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE
THANK YOU